Staying attractive to my husband can be a task at times with me juggling so many hats. However, I make it a point to get out my pjs, I have been in all day and put on some clothes that I would leave to house in. This keeps me intentional. This lets him know that I do care about my appearance and the way that he sees me. When I look good I feel good. When I feel good I show up differently than I would if I stayed in my pajamas all day long. Another thing I do with intention, is I continuously keep my mind sharp with information that will help me to be a better wife, mother and person overall. I am striving to be the best version of myself daily.
How do you stay attracted and attractive to your spouse?
Here are several ways to stay attracted to your partner.
Practice self-care
The first way to stay attracted and attractive to your partner is to practice self-care. I know this one sounds counterintuitive because you are giving to yourself, so how does practicing self-care translate to you staying attractive to your spouse? By giving to yourself you are giving to your spouse as a byproduct. You are taking care of the most important person in the relationship, which is yourself. And so, if you do not take care of you first, you cannot take care of anybody else. And that also goes into the attraction point. If you’re not taking care of yourself with your self-care routine to rejuvenate yourself then after a while you will be working from an empty cup. Giving from an empty well will lead to frustration and the feeling of being taken for granted.
My self-care routine consists of massages, taking baths, getting pedicures and just being rubbed on, being off to myself in order to think, even creating videos is a part of my self-care. I am able to freely speak about the things that I really love to talk about, be open and be able to express myself. So, think about some ways you can take care of yourself.
Here is how self-care plays a part in your relationship. Once you go back and speak with your partner about the things you have been doing, you begin to speak passionately and with confidence. This has a tendency to make you very, very sexy and attractive to your spouse. So, you must take care of yourself. That includes the food that you eat, the way that your body looks, your finances, your emotional, your spiritual, your physical, all of it together is your entire life and how everything plays out. So, you must take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your relationship. Pouring into yourself allows you the space to pour into someone else. You cannot do this from an empty cup. You need to be able to pour into somebody else from the overflow.
Give yourself room to miss one another
The second thing is to give yourself room to miss one another. So many couples like to stay up under each other. And then they wonder “Wow, this is getting kind of boring.” I’m not saying to never do this but I am saying give yourself a chance to have some breathing room and to miss one another. Maybe you really want to go to watch a movie at the theater and your spouse does not want to go. It could be something as simple as this. Go by yourself. When you return, you can discuss the movie with your spouse or you can watch another movie or you guys can just converse or decide not to do any of the things mentioned. Give yourself permission to say, “you know what, I actually miss him.” Giving each
other the space to be missed allows you both to remember why you fell for one another, stop taking each other for granted and deepen your connection.
This time away does not include your working hours. You must find other ways to be separated from your partner in your free time. You want to keep the curiosity alive and the longing to be near one another again. This only happens when you are out doing the things that interest you, such as your hobbies. My hobby includes going for simple walks around the block or going to the local park to escape. I love walking around the park or simply listening to the innocent children laugh and play. These times remind me of how much simpler life was when I was a child. While I am out I allow my mind to just wonder and give me the downloads it wants me to take in.
Write sweet and playful notes
Number three is to write notes and set them in places where you know he or she is going to find that sweet little note. It could be something super simple, like, have a great day. I can’t wait to see you later on or it was so special being with you last night with a winky face or here is your special coffee. Commit to making them feel special with simple little notes. Your partner will often think “I chose a great person to share this life journey with.” It is the little things that mean so much. Allowing your partner to think about you when there is something nice that has happened to him gives him the space to enjoy being your spouse. This is how you stay attracted and attractive to your partner.
Be appreciative
The final tip to stay attracted and attractive to your spouse is to be appreciative. There is nothing more sexier in the world than hearing your partner say “thank you” for the simplest things you have done for him or for her. This does not have to be something that they did in the moment. It could be something that he or she just does that makes you think “wow, that really makes me feel special”. For instance, when they play with your hair or when you hear him tell you he loves your butt. Or that really made me feel special when you held the door for me. Showing your appreciation will remind your partner why they feel special to have chosen you and want to give you more. It is also easier to love an appreciative person. You feel better about yourself. You fall deeper in love with your partner and you are happier overall.
Taking the time to be intentional with how you are showing up in your relationship is the key to creating the relationship you crave. Staying attracted and remaining attractive to your partner is all about your actions and your mindset. The more you lean into showing your partner the best version of yourself the more your partner will lean into being a better person himself.
If you need any more tips on how to stay attracted and attractive, but you just do not know where to begin do not hesitate to reach out to me. We definitely can get you on the road to creating a spectacular more romantic relationship with your spouse. Reach out to me either via email at marshaun@marshaunolaniyan.com or you can sign up for a FREE Coaching Session.
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Life & Relationship Strategist