Have you ever sat down and thought about what your vision is going to be when it comes to your relationship? What will your future relationship be like? Have you taken inventory about where your relationship is currently? Have you thought about how you can change the current state of your love life?
This is something to think about because this is a new year. So, what are you going to do differently this year and this decade in order to get different results in your love life? How many of you are working on your New Year’s goals, specifically towards your relationship? Have you given up because things have gotten a little rough and what you thought your love life would be by now is and looks utterly different from what you dreamed your life would be?
Know that you are not alone!
I was in your shoes not too long ago. I was the woman who had plenty of dates but no one seemed to want to move beyond this stage. Instead of allowing these men to move on OR me, myself moving on when I was not getting the title or treatment I deserved, I would try to find ways to convince him that he should see how much of a catch I am, would wake up and notice this and of course choose me as his own. Well. . . that never happened! When I decided to stop playing the victim and take back control of my life. That’s when things started to change.
Even now, when things are not going as planned in my marriage I do not throw in the towel because things are not moving as fast as I would like, I get quiet and still myself so I can hear the guidance of The Lord. When I feel stuck and it seems I cannot get my husband to hear me, I seek solace so I can gain the knowledge, lesson or next step I’m waiting for before I make my next move.
Have you taken the time to give your situation to God; to give your problems to God or are you constantly trying to handle the situation all by yourself? You see, anytime we as humans get involved in solving our own problems without seeking guidance, we have a tendency to make them worse, not better. We have a tendency to make them worse because we are trying to get our spouse’s to do what we want him to do versus what God is working on him or her about.
So, how much inventory have you taken?
What are you doing wrong?
What could you do better?
How do you want to show up?
Are you constantly sabotaging your relationship because you fear it will not last? Because you fear your relationship will not go the distance, you are subconsciously and constantly finding ways to sabotage your relationship. You regularly find things to complain about or are constantly picking arguments about anything and everything, because in the back of your mind, you already have this idea that this relationship is not going to work out anyways. You may not be aware but what you are actually doing is bringing your thoughts into fruition. The very thing you are fearing, a breakup, is the very thing that you are helping come true.
What is your vision for this relationship? What is your vision for yourself? How do you want to show up, happy, sad, angry, frustrated or miserable?
The more you try to control the situation, the worse, your relationship will be. You have to give up control and only work on yourself because you only have control over you. Here’s the thing. Once you decide to start doing things differently, your relationship will look a lot different. It will be a lot better. It will be less toxic. It will be a lot healthier. The decision is all yours. The thoughts you have about your relationship currently, can be better if you decide that enough is enough and you make the decision that you will do everything in your power to show up a much better person and be intentional in your speech and actions.
What will 2021 look like for you in your love life?
Need help? Check out my digital course The 6 Secrets To Finding Yourself and Attracting Your Soulmate. This course is for you if you:
Are tired of dating unemotionally available men
Have jumped from relationship to relationship
Hardly ever get asked to be his girlfriend
Desire to be married in the near future
Sounds like you, then click the link.
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Life & Relationship Strategist