According to Merrim-Webster.com, the definition of thick and thin is every difficulty and obstacle. That’s right! Every obstacle. Not some, not a few but ALL. Let’s take a deeper dive into what thick and thin actually means in your romantic relationship. A lot of people get into a relationship and are not ready for what thick and thin truly means. They are not ready to go through the downs. Everybody loves the ups but some of the same people are not ready to go through the downs. Everybody loves when the cash is flowing but nobody likes it when the cash flow comes to a screeching halt. Everybody loves when there are children running around, especially if this was part of your dream. Nobody loves the part if they are struggling to get pregnant, or if they had several miscarriages. Everybody loves when everything is flowing smoothly and nobody wants to experience the downs in the relationship. You see, the downs represent the thin parts of being in love and in a relationship. The thin equals the low moments in your relationship.
We all have peaks and valleys throughout life. The valley is the low part of the relationship. What does thick and thin actually mean? Thick and thin means being there for your partner when things aren’t going as you planned them out. Thick and thin means we’ve been trying to have this baby for five years and there are no signs of pregnancy nor a baby in sight. Maybe your thick and thin has more to do with the cash flow, not flowing. Do you just bail on the person you have been there with? Do you bail on the person because they’re not bringing as much income home as they once were? Is this now your time to give up on everything you’ve worked so hard to build? Do you walk away or do you decide to stay by your partner’s side?
Here’s the thing. Did you think about any of this before you said yes to the relationship? And did you take an even deeper dive and think about it even further before you said “I do” at the altar? See, these are the things that we need to think about before we jump into such serious situations. Marriage cannot be taken lightly.
How much are you going to cherish this person and cherish this relationship? Did your spouse get diagnosed with an unexpected life altering disease such as cancer? Do you leave them because they’ve been struggling with cancer for 1 year, 2 years or five years? If this is the case then what is the sickness and health line in your vows all about?
Have you been this thorough when thinking about your relationship? So, you want to get into that marriage but do you really want all the stuff that comes with being married or do you just like the idea? Then when times get hard while in the marriage, then you are ready to bail? Take some inventory today. Do you bail when times get tough?
Marriage is not for everybody. A lot of people want it. But are you truly ready for marriage through the thick and the thin? Have you healed from your past baggage or are you still carrying around those demons? Are you going to take that into your relationship?
Have you thought this deeply about what taking your marriage vows actually means? Have you sat down and had an in depth conversation with your spouse? What if you guys stop having sex for whatever reason. Maybe it is a medical reason or maybe it is stress. Do you walk away? Is it now your time to go out there and become a philanderer because you are no longer having sex with your spouse? Is that really your definition of thick and thin?
You want this fabulous relationship but you are not ready to go through the highs and lows.
Here’s what you can do. If you are in a relationship, I want you to schedule this particular talk with your spouse. Sit down. Take out two sheets of paper. And you ask each other the question, “What does thick and thin mean to me?” “What does it mean to you?” Take a few moments to write down the answer. Then have the discussion.
If you are single. Sit down yourself, have a date with yourself and write down what thick and thin means to you. You have to know your own definition first before you can get the answer from somebody else because here’s the thing, if you do not have the answer yourself, then they are going to “blow the question off” until you start the conversation. So, if you are the one to go to the person and say “hey what does thick and thin mean to you?”, you need to have some answers yourself.
Here in the Marshaun O community, I am helping you to create a better relationship with yourself and your partner. Yes! You are creating the relationship that you are a part of with every action you take or do not take, with every conversation you have or do not have, with every hug you give or not. You have the power to determine your life experiences one moment at a time.
For more articles and tips of how to be better and to show up better in your love life visit www.marshauno.com/blog. To receive daily relationship advice in your email, signup for my email list when you visit my blog.
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Life & Relationship Strategist