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Silencing Your Critical Inner Voice

What is your critical inner voice? Your critical invoice is defined as a well-integrated pattern of negative thoughts toward oneself and others that is at the root of an individual’s maladaptive behavior. It tends to foster inwardness, distress, self criticism, self denial and limitation, addiction, and a generalized retreat from one’s goal directed activity. What all of this means is that your critical inner voice is all of the negative thoughts you think about yourself and what was told to you that is now rooted in your behavior and how it is showing up.

Identifying What Your Critical Inner Voice is Telling You

Your critical inner voice reveals itself in those little every day thoughts that flit through your consciousness. They zing and are gone before you even are fully aware of them. These thoughts are part of a menacing internal dialogue and a harsh and judgemental way that you talk to yourself.

Though sometimes hard to pinpoint, the inner voice is often experienced as a running commentary that attacks and criticizes your actions and interactions in everyday life. Unfortunately, this destructive thought process influences you to make decisions that are against your best interest and to take actions that negatively impact your life. In order to challenge this internal enemy, you must be able to identify your critical inner voice. Once you have become aware of its negative guidance, you can make a conscious effort to not act on its destructive advice.

Your critical inner voice is not your conscience. It has a more degrading and punishing quality to it. It is a demeaning tone that tends to increase your feelings of self hatred towards yourself instead of motivating you to change undesirable actions in a constructive manner.

You must separate your critical inner voice from the thoughts and feelings that represent your own point of you. It is usually difficult to distinguish the two because they are experienced in the first person point of view. However, you can access this alien point of you by putting it in second person. To do this, take your self attacks from the first person (I statements) and put them into the second person (You statements). Doing this reveals the hostile nature of its internal enemy. It makes distinctions between the negative view of yourself and a more realistic view and makes you aware of other negative thoughts that you may not have been conscious of before. By doing the simple exercise you will be able to access the feelings that often underlie these self attacks, allowing you to have a more compassionate view of yourself.

Finally, you must recognize what triggers your critical inner voice. When you find yourself slipping into a bad mood or becoming upset, think about what happened to change your mental state. The fact that you went from feeling optimistic or relaxed to feeling down or irritable, may be a sign that your voice has been activated. Think about what is triggering your critical inner voice. Try to separate your critical inner voice from the thoughts and feelings that represent your own point of you. These thoughts and feelings may have come from the point of your parents or guardians and what they instilled within you. These voices usually told you who you are, how to act and what to say. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just be aware of who’s voice is actually within your head.

Have you examined whose voice is in your head? Who instilled the negativity within your head? Whose voice do you usually hear that you have taken on as if it is your own voice that speaks negatively towards you? How are you relinquishing this negative critical inner voice?

To find out how to relinquish this critical inner voice, sign up for a free 30 minute coaching conversation.

My name is Marshaun Olaniyan. I am a Life & Relationship Strategist and I help Christian women that are married or in long-term relationships to stop feeling disconnected and unloved and shift you to feeling heard, understood and appreciated. My mission is to decrease the divorce rate while simultaneously increasing the marriage rate one coaching conversation at a time. I look forward to speaking with you if you are ready and you have stated enough is enough. Click the link to schedule your free 30 minute coaching conversation. 


Marshaun Olaniyan 

Life & Relationship Strategist www.marshauno.com

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