What does fun mean to you, especially when it comes to you being in a relationship? Have you been known to get into a relationship and after some time passes you get stuck in the rat race of allowing life to get in the way of you being a fun person to be around? Do you allow life’s stresses to overshadow you?
I would like for you to think for a moment. Challenge yourself when you ask yourself, “How fun am I to be in a relationship with?”
How much fun are you to be around and to be with? When your potential partner thinks about you, will he smile? Or will he frown? Think about all of the wonderful things you two have in common and the things you do together? How much fun do you two have intentionally?
I love having unscripted fun. Sometimes my husband, daughter and I will get up and randomly start dancing around the house. We also make random noises at any given time. Our home can be quite lively. I personally can find the humor in just about anything so I laugh a lot about the little and big things in life. You see, life is stressful enough. I want to counterattack the negative that is bound to happen and replace it with as many fun memories as possible.
Did you know research shows that having fun can have many health benefits such as reducing stress, better quality sleep, increased creativity, keeps you feeling youthful and can help to heal your emotional wounds? These are also a host of benefits that can help to improve your relationship as well.
Think about how you can start incorporating fun into your relationship. Life is serious enough. Nobody wants to come home to a serious person all the time. Your partner wants to come home and be able to laugh and joke with you. I am intentional about running around and chasing my family. Again, I want to build happy go lucky memories, the things where my daughter is able to look at me and my husband and say, “my parents are actually fun. I like hanging around them.”
What about your friends? When your friends talk about you, do they say that you are fun? Do they usually call you for a good time? Now, they can call you for other times too but do they call when it is time to have fun? Do they invite you to the party? Or are you strategically left off the list? Are you the serious one with a judgmental face just watching everyone instead of joining in?
The fun list factor is really big in relationships. The fun does not and should not go away when you become his girlfriend and certainly not after you two get married. There should be planned and spontaneous fun moments in your love life.
Here’s how to determine how much fun you are to be around and in a relationship with.
1. How spontaneous are you?
Think about how spontaneous are you. Do you have to always know what you guys are going to do? Do you always have to have a plan before you say, “okay, I’m on board with doing this.” How spontaneous can you be? Can you think of a thing you want to do or go along with a non-planned outing with a potential partner? Or is your go-to answer, “I can’t do it right now. I need a few days notice in order to go.” How much of a stick in the mud are you?
2. Can you bust out a dance move or belt out of tune?
Whenever I feel it, I am going to dance. Dancing is one of my things. I can also belt out a note at any given time. Can you dance like no one is watching, even if they are? When was the last time you belted out a random song and enjoyed every moment of it. Are you caught up on what others may say about you? What’s your go-to song that gets you moving no matter where you are or who is watching? Have you told yourself or has you partner mentioned that that is inappropriate in some way so now you do not engage in such acts?
I give you permission to loosen up and go for the fun memories. Be as playful as possible.
3. How often are you open to trying new things?
How often are you open to trying new things? Being open to try new things adds to the excitement and spontaneity of the relationship. Being open minded adds to you being able to think critically and rationally. Stepping out of your comfort zone and into the unknown will make you a more well rounded fun person and partner.
4. How often do you laugh?
How you do one thing is how you do everything. How often do you laugh? Laughter is good for the soul and your emotional state. Laughter can boost your immune system, relax your whole body, protect your heart and laughter lightens the environment when you are angry. Did you know that by finding something to laugh about during an argument you can shift the energy during that argument and help to reset the stage. Find more ways and times to laugh with and without your partner.
5. How friendly and supportive are you?
You do not have to always be a serious person, especially with your spouse or family. Let them see you let your hair down. Let them see you build fun memories so they can say “I remember this day when Coronavirus was around in 2020, we had to stay home when we were in lockdown. And guess what? I was not bored at all! We were in the house dancing. We were in the house playing games. We watched movies. We ran around playing tag. It was the best year and most time I spent with my family in a long time.
Be spontaneous. Be able to think on your feet while having fun at the same time, because that is totally going to bring some laughter to you, as well as help to build a new skill set. On top of that, figure out where you are at today and then make note of how you are going to get to where you want to be. If you are not fun today. Guess what sis, you will not be fun tomorrow, unless you start working on this new skill set. Find a way to laugh. Find a way to smile. Find a way to brighten somebody else’s day by making them laugh. You can do this by simply making a fool out of yourself. Can you do that? This is my challenge to you. What one or two things can you implement this next week to start becoming a funnier person which will correlate with you being a fun partner.
Life is what you make of it. Do not allow the pressure we often feel with life happening to us. Make an intentional effort to show up differently in order to attract a more qualified partner, someone you will be happy with for years to come. You also want to be able to grow alongside your partner.
Having fun is one of the key elements to a lasting relationship. What one thing can you eliminate in order to make sure you are open to creating more fun in your dating life?
By the way, if you are feeling stuck and want someone to help you get a handle on how you are showing up or why you keep attracting the wrong type of guy, then sign up for your FREE 30-minute coaching conversation NOW! It is all about you making an effort to be the best version of yourself.
All the best!
Marshaun Olaniyan
Relationship Strategist