When a guy is really invested in you, you can feel it. You don’t have any questions or very little questions that would make you think otherwise. When he is really invested in you he asks about your thoughts and life goals. He also likes to be in your company whether there is physical involvement or not.
When I was evaluating if my own man was invested in me, I looked for several little signs to see if he was into me or just into my body. Signs like how often he mentioned wanting to have sex with me, if he was a man of his word and how often he wanted to see me after our date ended. The guy who is thinking about a deeper connection will be looking to see how he can move the relationship to the next phase or level.
Here are seven more things you should be aware of while dating in order to determine if he is invested in you or just in your physical body.
1. He will try to keep you safe in every aspect of the word.
He will make sure you are safe and that you feel safe. He makes sure you are safe, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially and in every other area you can think of. Safety is his priority when it comes to you. He will make sure you can open up and just be you without feeling like you are going to be judged based on the things that you reveal about yourself.
2. He talks about the future with you.
I remember when I was dating this one guy. He never talked about us when he referred to the future. It was statements all about himself. That is how I realized that he really was not into me. It was because when we briefly talked about the future, he would literally say, “When I go and buy this house. When I go and do X, Y and Z.” Obviously, he did not think about taking me to the next level with him. His statements were always, “I” focused.
When a guy is truly invested in you he will hardly use the “I” statements and focus more on the “We” statements. If he is constantly using “I” statements this should be your wake up call to move along because he does not see you in his future. It’s okay that he does not see you in his future but it is also okay for you to choose you, and not waste any more of your beautiful time.
3. He introduces you to his sacred friends circle.
He introduces you to his sacred circle. I say sacred friends circle because you might have heard about his friends and his friends might have heard about you, but you guys have never met. He may tell you stories about his friends but at this point you have not crossed paths with any of them, including some family as well. Also keep in mind that the time frame you two have been dating may play a role in why you have never met them but another thing to consider is he is trying to decide how much longer you are going to stay in his world. He knows that if he opens up the door that he cannot protect you nor himself from the scrutiny and all the questions that come with seriously dating someone. He’ll keep you close to him until he decides on you being a part of his future.
4. He starts to get his finances in order.
He will start to get his finances in order if he has not already started. This also depends on the quality of man you are dealing with. Some men already know that they want a relationship and settle down so
they already start working on their credit score and saving money. Other men, wait until they are inspired by a woman and then start to get their finances on the right track. So, if he is getting his finances or has already started to get his finances in order this has a high probability of meaning he is invested in you and the relationship.
5. He always wants to be around you.
He always wants to be around you. He enjoys your company and wants as much as he can have. Even if he is a busy man, he will willingly carve out and plan to fit you into his schedule. He knows there is something about you and he does not want to risk you being swept off your feet by another man. He also wants to be around you whether or not sex is involved.
6. He makes you a priority in his life.
He makes you a priority in his life because nine times out of 10 he has a busy life. Because he has a busy life he wants to make sure that the people that are important to him take part in his busy life. This comes in the form of calling, texting, FaceTiming etcetera. He’ll call just to see how you are doing or to tell you he was thinking about you. He will also make sure you two have plans to talk or spend time with one another at a later time. He will also make you feel very special to him.
7. Sex is not the priority and he is continuing to ask a lot of questions.
He wants sex but it is okay because women want sex too. The point is that, although he wants sex, it is not going to be the biggest priority for him because he knows that there are bigger things, other priorities and other things that must fall into place in order to have a very secure, healthy stable relationship. So yes, he is going to want sex but it is not the priority. It is not every waking moment; it is not after you guys. Another way to determine if sex is his priority is to pay attention to how many times he brings up sex and what he wants to do to you sexually. So, before sex, he asks all the questions in the world about you, the way you grew up, what you like and dislike and any topic in between. If he’s only after sex then after the act he will no longer ask about you, your childhood or trying to get to know you on a deeper level. You are no longer the priority and get less and less of his time and attention.
Remember there are plenty of other things to be mindful of. This short list is to help you become more aware of the way he is showing up with you and how he is invested in you and the relationship over all. Be conscious but also have fun with putting yourself out there to increase your chances of attracting and keeping the man you can grow old with in a healthy way.
Also if you need help with trying to figure out if he is into you and invested in you, do not hesitate to sign up for your FREE 30-minute coaching conversation here. As my mission is to help to decrease the divorce rate while simultaneously increasing the marriage rate one conversation at a time.
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Relationship Strategist
vested in You.
When a guy is really invested in you, you can feel it. You don’t have any questions or very little questions that would make you think otherwise. When he is really invested in you he asks about your thoughts and life goals. He also likes to be in your company whether there is physical involvement or not.
When I was evaluating if my own man was invested in me, I looked for several little signs to see if he was into me or just into my body. Signs like how often he mentioned wanting to have sex with me, if he was a man of his word and how often he wanted to see me after our date ended. The guy who is thinking about a deeper connection will be looking to see how he can move the relationship to the next phase or level.
Here are seven more things you should be aware of while dating in order to determine if he is invested in you or just in your physical body.
1. He will try to keep you safe in every aspect of the word.
He will make sure you are safe and that you feel safe. He makes sure you are safe, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially and in every other area you can think of. Safety is his priority when it comes to you. He will make sure you can open up and just be you without feeling like you are going to be judged based on the things that you reveal about yourself.
2. He talks about the future with you.
I remember when I was dating this one guy. He never talked about us when he referred to the future. It was statements all about himself. That is how I realized that he really was not into me. It was because when we briefly talked about the future, he would literally say, “When I go and buy this house. When I go and do X, Y and Z.” Obviously, he did not think about taking me to the next level with him. His statements were always, “I” focused.
When a guy is truly invested in you he will hardly use the “I” statements and focus more on the “We” statements. If he is constantly using “I” statements this should be your wake up call to move along because he does not see you in his future. It’s okay that he does not see you in his future but it is also okay for you to choose you, and not waste any more of your beautiful time.
3. He introduces you to his sacred friends circle.
He introduces you to his sacred circle. I say sacred friends circle because you might have heard about his friends and his friends might have heard about you, but you guys have never met. He may tell you stories about his friends but at this point you have not crossed paths with any of them, including some family as well. Also keep in mind that the time frame you two have been dating may play a role in why you have never met them but another thing to consider is he is trying to decide how much longer you are going to stay in his world. He knows that if he opens up the door that he cannot protect you nor himself from the scrutiny and all the questions that come with seriously dating someone. He’ll keep you close to him until he decides on you being a part of his future.
4. He starts to get his finances in order.
He will start to get his finances in order if he has not already started. This also depends on the quality of man you are dealing with. Some men already know that they want a relationship and settle down so
they already start working on their credit score and saving money. Other men, wait until they are inspired by a woman and then start to get their finances on the right track. So, if he is getting his finances or has already started to get his finances in order this has a high probability of meaning he is invested in you and the relationship.
5. He always wants to be around you.
He always wants to be around you. He enjoys your company and wants as much as he can have. Even if he is a busy man, he will willingly carve out and plan to fit you into his schedule. He knows there is something about you and he does not want to risk you being swept off your feet by another man. He also wants to be around you whether or not sex is involved.
6. He makes you a priority in his life.
He makes you a priority in his life because nine times out of 10 he has a busy life. Because he has a busy life he wants to make sure that the people that are important to him take part in his busy life. This comes in the form of calling, texting, FaceTiming etcetera. He’ll call just to see how you are doing or to tell you he was thinking about you. He will also make sure you two have plans to talk or spend time with one another at a later time. He will also make you feel very special to him.
7. Sex is not the priority and he is continuing to ask a lot of questions.
He wants sex but it is okay because women want sex too. The point is that, although he wants sex, it is not going to be the biggest priority for him because he knows that there are bigger things, other priorities and other things that must fall into place in order to have a very secure, healthy stable relationship. So yes, he is going to want sex but it is not the priority. It is not every waking moment; it is not after you guys. Another way to determine if sex is his priority is to pay attention to how many times he brings up sex and what he wants to do to you sexually. So, before sex, he asks all the questions in the world about you, the way you grew up, what you like and dislike and any topic in between. If he’s only after sex then after the act he will no longer ask about you, your childhood or trying to get to know you on a deeper level. You are no longer the priority and get less and less of his time and attention.
Remember there are plenty of other things to be mindful of. This short list is to help you become more aware of the way he is showing up with you and how he is invested in you and the relationship over all. Be conscious but also have fun with putting yourself out there to increase your chances of attracting and keeping the man you can grow old with in a healthy way.
Also if you need help with trying to figure out if he is into you and invested in you, do not hesitate to sign up for your FREE 30-minute coaching conversation here. As my mission is to help to decrease the divorce rate while simultaneously increasing the marriage rate one conversation at a time.
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Relationship Strategist