For generations, women and men have been taught that the man is the provider in the sense of making the money for the household but these dynamics are changing. According to the updated version of Breadwinning Mothers are Increasingly the U.S. Norm, 41 percent of mothers were the sole or primary breadwinners for their families, earning at least half of their total household income. With the increasing number of women being the breadwinners, how can these women show their man that he is needed within the home and relationship?
It is my opinion that there are plenty of simple ways to do this. It is literally you making the choice to implement them. The best way to make a man feel needed is when you don’t need him financially. But how can this be possible? Well, it’s actually not as difficult as you might think! We will talk about six things you can do even if he isn’t making as much money in the relationship. These tips are perfect for men who love their wives or girlfriends but may be feeling insecure because they are not bringing home enough bacon.
Here are 6 ways to make your man feel needed even if you don’t need him financially:
1. Let him help you
Every man wants to feel like he’s the king of his castle, but that means allowing him some roles in your house and being ok with letting go a little bit. If you need help organizing something or cleaning up so it doesn’t become a disaster, let him know! It’ll make him happy to be able to take care of things for you without feeling bad about not doing enough around the house because he can see how much work is involved.
2. Allow vulnerability in and let him witness this.
Allow vulnerability so he can witness it. I know this sounds like strange advice, but many women have been taught from birth that vulnerability is weakness rather than a strength. We’ve been encouraged by society and culture all our lives to put up walls of protection (figuratively) because we thought it was better for us emotionally if people couldn’t see how much help we need. This is quite the opposite of what men really need in order to feel needed in the home by the family and especially the woman he loves. Keeping the walls up will do the opposite of making him feel closer to you. These walls will bring more distance and your man will feel as though he is not needed. Trust me sis! He wants to solve your problems and see your softer side.
3. Give him the blueprint to win with you.
If he’s always trying to figure out what will make you happy then give him that gift, let
him know it does work! Tell him how much his efforts mean to you and express your appreciation for all of the things he does on a daily basis. Letting someone know they are appreciated is one way to show them they are needed in our lives. It is the simple things we do and say that keep our spouse’s feeling important, cared for and needed. The more you tell your man how he can win with you, the more you will feel in love with him no matter what. Money is important but it is not the most important aspect of your relationship.
4. Ask for his advice or opinion
Giving each other space can be healthy but we also need partners who fill us up when we don’t have anything left inside ourselves. We want people in our life who push us forward instead of holding us back so why not ask your man for help? The best way to show a man you value his opinions and advice is by asking for them. It’s not an insult if he doesn’t have the answer, but it can be frustrating when we’re looking for feedback and don’t get any. If your guy gives good input, use that information wisely.
– Ask questions about what you need advice about.
– Listen without interrupting his thoughts.
– Tell him how much of an asset his advice is.
5. Share how much you miss him
Don’t take him for granted. Do things that you know he likes and do them often. Make sure to send texts and tell him how much you care about him, even if it’s just a cute little message like “I miss u”. There is no need to be clingy or needy but there should definitely be some showing of interest on your part.
Show appreciation in whatever way works for the two of you. If he does something big, thank him with words or give a gift (something small). The point is to let your man know how special he is and how your life would not be the same without him in it.
6. Exude respect.
When he gets home, don’t nag about the one thing you didn’t like. Instead ask him how his day was and let him know you’re happy to see him. Every time you go out with your
friends without a man by your side, make sure to take some pictures for him of all the fun that’s happening or send selfies in different poses so he knows what it looks like from where he is. (He’ll appreciate this even more if there are other men around.) Women often think they need financial support from their guy to feel needed and appreciated but really it doesn’t matter whether she needs her man financially or not – as long as she respects him!
For more tips on making a man really want to stay in the relationship, try these:
* Give compliments that are genuine. Don’t just say it out of obligation because he deserves it! Praise everything from his work ethic to personal interests. Let your man know when he’s done something good so he knows what behavior you like best. For example, “thanks for taking care of my car today” is better than “you always take such good care of me.”
* Compliment him often; don’t wait until Valentine’s Day or another special occasion. Make sure not all the compliments center around appearance either – praise other areas as well.
After reading this, I hope you understand that many men do not want to leave their partners because of money but sometimes need reassurance from time-to-time about their importance within the relationship. This way we can help our man know how much he means to you so that he will want to stay around and not be bothered by who is bringing in the most money. For more ways to show your appreciation pick up a copy of my book I’m grateful for you: an appreciation journal for the man in your life .
All the best,
Marshaun Olaniyan
Relationship Strategist